Motherhood and urban spaces - reflections from Karachi to New York
Cities are not built for women and children. And most certainly, cities are not built for mothers, writes Natasha Shahid as she explores two urban cities, continents apart
Cities are not built for women and children. And most certainly, cities are not built for mothers, writes Natasha Shahid as she explores two urban cities, continents apart.
The most difficult urban experience of my life so far has been navigating the city as a mother. It trumps car accidents, earthquakes, roadside harassment, and even bomb blasts, all of which are easily experienced on the streets of Pakistan, where I was born and raised. There is something particularly stressful about navigating the city – any city, from Karachi to New York (where I have lived since becoming a mother four years ago.
On Karachi: I was looking forward to exploring Kamran Asdar Ali's paper, 'Women, Work and Public Spaces: Conflict and Coexistence in Karachi's Poor Neighbourhoods', expecting it to discuss, even if briefly, the problems faced by working mothers as a subgroup of the specific demographic category defined in this paper. As is the case in most Eastern developing countries, patriarchal setups expect, if not demand, mothers to be the default parent.
While the paper is generally insightful regarding the challenges faced by working women, particularly those from 'poor neighbourhoods,' as they navigate cities like Karachi, a city known for being relatively gender-friendly within the Pakistani context, it is crucial to note that issues like sexual harassment, though concerning when compared to some Western cities, are minimal compared to other Pakistani cities, particularly Lahore. However, Ali's paper and his recommended reading, ‘Oskar Verkaaik's Migrants and Militants: Fun and Urban Violence in Pakistan (2004),’ do not specifically address the challenges faced by working mothers within the same demographic. This is a notable gap, considering the numerous issues these women confront in achieving a "work-life balance," a term that, despite its privilege connotations, aptly encapsulates their struggle with lifelong toil.
The streets of Karachi and the workplaces of these women, including both the infrastructure and the people in those spaces, often show a lack of receptivity or accommodation for the workers' children. As Ali argues throughout his paper, this holds true for the women themselves. The overarching message from the urban environment seems straightforward: you can either be a mother or a professional, but not both simultaneously, unless, perhaps, you work from home. However, this doesn't negate the fact that urban spaces are unsafe for both children and women; it only underscores it. The only places where women can play both the role of a professional and a mother are their own homes or, perhaps, the playground, where they are still expected to closely supervise their children. It seems worthwhile to conduct a study on how such women manage care for their children while they go out to work (and, rarely, to study). Simply put, there is a lack of compatibility between urban spaces and young children: the costs incurred, damages tolerated, children abused, and ‘favours’ taken (even fro their spouses).
There seems to be very little consideration for women in urban planning – or within related literature. It is important to mention here that this paper addresses a very geographically limited aspect of the phenomenon. There is still a prevalence of viewing women in the conventionally feminine role of child-rearer in addition to the exclusively feminine role of the child-bearer. While the division of childrearing responsibilities might be more equitably divided between the two parents in the West, in the developing world – I can speak of Pakistan with certainty – mothers still bear most of the burden of childrearing, continuing to be the default parent in most cases, regardless of their professional occupations and financial contribution (Hirani, 2008, p5).
On New York: To explain a case in point, take New York City (NYC), for example, especially the borough of Manhattan, which is particularly unfriendly to children (and hence parents), with its narrow sidewalks, narrow buses, and majority of inaccessible train stations. All of the stated factors negatively affect parents or childcare professionals who use strollers to transport their children. However, they also affect those who cannot afford that convenience for any number of reasons, since the infrastructure is even more dangerous when children are left to walk on it. Even under strict supervision, accidents are a millisecond away.
Despite the fact that most mothers are expected to engage in full-time work, especially in the West – particularly in the US, where paid maternity leave is only six weeks – and increasingly in the developing world as well, spaces, public or private, are not designed for mothers at all. Take for example, breastfeeding or diaper changing. To this day, I have not found a single diaper changing station in any of the women's washrooms I have used at Columbia University, which ironically posits its "19 Lactation Rooms," which "women may access only for the purposes of expressing, storing, and collecting breast milk" and not to breastfeed an actual child, as an achievement in ensuring a work/life balance for its employees or students. Urban spaces demand women to clearly define their public and private roles, while patriarchal culture demands they be equally proficient at performing in each sphere.
A piece that resonated the most with me was the New York Times article on women abandoning the subway in favour of other modes of transportation. It is something that I, too, would have gladly done if I could afford to take a taxi or keep a car because travelling with children rules out biking across the city. I can completely understand why women would want to abandon the Metropolitan Transportation Authority (MTA) altogether for harassment concerns since I have experienced outbursts of harassment on multiple occasions, which, at their very worst, also extend to the children. I have faced more harassment in NYC in six months than I did in Karachi in six years.
An observation presented in the NYT article that hit home was the loss of economic and learning opportunities women in NYC faced because of the lack of safety offered by the city's public transport, especially at night. I have had to pass up on several courses offered at Columbia that were very relevant to my work just because their classes took place too late at night. Sarah Kaufman, an interviewee, says: "We're paying in time and/or money for our safety." The article quotes her as eloquently expressing the economic costs of this. And, a mother might add, for that of our children.
Most mothers might also attest to the fact that if subways are unsafe for women at night, they are unsafe for children around the clock, since it is so much easier to shove a child in front of a train than a fully-grown person, regardless of gender.
Globally, urban environments, despite their diversity, remain consistent when it comes to motherhood. It’s just unfortunate that it’s not in the best way.